3. 12. Similar to how it's important to minimize distractions in the workplace, you need a few minutes of peace to focus and mindfully say your affirmations. Sarcasm is a tool of highly intelligent people and if you're one of them (I bet you are), you're going to love these funny affirmations that are filled with humor and sarcasm.I'm sure you've heard a lot about affirmations, what they do and why you should start using them daily.They are a powerful to. Any text will do. Give me a photo of you so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas. I intend to live forever. You can write them down and use them whenever youre attending a social event or if you simply just want to make yourself laugh. Its scary when it disappears. Life is becoming easier and less serious. Feel free to pick a few of these affirmations and say them to yourself the next time youre overwhelmed, stressed, or just dealing with negative self-talk. If you were able to believe in Santa Claus for 8 -9 years, you can believe in yourself for at least 5 minutes. , we dont need our internal dialogue to pile on too. I wasnt mad, but now that you asked me 7 times if Im mad.. yes, Im mad! Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love. Allow your body to absorb the positivity of your words by repeating them to yourself. Exercise? 117. I love my body. 214. If Monday had a face, I would punch it. Ann Landers Some when they enter, others when they leave., 2. I might take a nap if I get tired, but I wont quit. I am attractive just as I am. 37. I often wish I was someone else Just so I could hang around with someone as awesome as me. Bill Murray - Christopher Reeve. I may not know karate, but I know crazy and Im not afraid to use it. I have a healthy body, tranquil mind and a vibrant soul. My room is like the Bermuda triangle, stuff goes in and is never seen again. I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case were having cake. If you cant remember my name, just say chocolate and Ill turn around.. Home: Where I can look ugly and not care. And a funny bone. If we shouldnt eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge? 63. Everyone brings happiness to this office. Everyone wants to talk with me because I am very funny. Take some time each day to go through these funny affirmations for self-esteem and see how your mood shifts in response. 110. As a result, youll stay consistent, and with affirmations, consistency is the name of the game. Im thinking like a proton, always positive., 9. 9. 144. 159. Because someone is always sitting on the deck. Art doesnt transform. Some people are like clouds. 47. I am willing to ask for help when it serves my growth. Because it was soda pressing. I am grateful for the healing power of humor. Ken Dodd Im so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed. Today I was a hero. Wake up and smell the birdshit on your windshield. Helen Giangregorio. 179. 212. A backbone. 19. Most of the articles that Ive written about affirmations are about more serious topics: Lets keep things a little lighter in this article shall we? Theres no stopping me now. I enjoy taking long romantic walks, to the fridge. The library, because it has so many stories. In life, sometimes you just need to break the tension with a little humor. This is a snap. I am happy and joyful. Sometimes these surprises are way too spectacular and sometimes way too tragic. My house was clean yesterday, sorry you missed it. [click_to_tweet tweet="Things are getting better all the time" quote="Things are getting better all the time" theme="style4] Erma Bombeck You can also share them with your co-workers to put a smile on their faces. I attacked the floor and I believe I am winning. The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do. I dont need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry. He who wakes up early, yawns all day long. I rescued some beer that was trapped in a bottle. I enjoy taking long romantic walks, to the fridge. Steven Wright If nothing is impossible is it possible for something to be impossible? Friends buy you food. Today I will embrace the poop. I solemnly swear that I am up to no good. No one is immune to self-sabotage, heartbreak, loss, and failure. 98. A backbone. At night, I cant fall asleep. Im not lazy, Im on power saving mode. Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. 51. I am positive. I dont think thats a coincidence., 3. Choose words that make you feel confident about yourself. 92. Sincerely, yourself. It is what we can make of the mess we have made of things.'. When I can laugh at myself, life becomes so much easier. I walk in the direction of what feels good for my soul. I will drink my coffee and conquer my day. 148. If everyone knew what I was thinking, I would get punched in the face a lot. So far, so good. 161. 4. I dont want to fix my spending habits. My goal this weekend is to move, just enough so people dont think Im dead. 114. Live life to the fullest. 1. Happy Birthday.". I try to see the funny side of every situation. My silence spoke a thousand words, but you never heard them. The thing is, Im still getting ready. 21. Exercise? We have a connection. Albert King. I release all shame about my body. 166. 40. Your values become your destiny. I am naturally cool, calm, and collected. I am confused between what I like the most hanging out or posting that I hung out. If Cinderellas shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off? You may think youll never get over it, but you will, and youll be fine., 7. 188. Whether youre saying the affirmations aloud or writing them down, laughing along will only strengthen their effect. Watch popular content from the following creators: Maaryfairyy(@maaryfairyy), Jasmines Garden(@jasminesgarden23), Dazley(@dazzlemeup), JaySean(@jaysean), Nathalie Munoz(@nathaliemunozx3) . Hmmm, this text message is a little too harsh, Ill add LOL at the end. Albert Einstein, 190. As I become responsible, I have got more powers. I can engage in small acts of kindness to uplift other people. Treat me like a joke and Ill leave you like its funny., 4. 82. 116. Robert Bloch. But then again so does . This might be a work in progress, or you might need to remind yourself of how funny you actually are. 103. Maybe Monday doesn't like you either. Im not here to judge, Im just pointing out all the mistakes youre making. I will not let my mind be a bully to my body. When and How to Let Them Know, How To Cheer Yourself Up When Feeling Down, 5 Things To Discuss With Your Partner Before Marriage, Funny Positive Affirmations For Self-Esteem, 50+ Powerful Positive Affirmations For Exams, 70+ Positive Affirmations For Teens From Parents. Making everyone angry, piece of cake. 219. I am thankful for all those difficult people in my life. Hes dreaming too. 165. Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once. It doesnt work if it is not open. No matter how bad it gets Im always rich when I go to the dollar store. Ive made it from the bed to the couch. A backbone. Its okay, he woke up. You wanna know who Im in love with? All rights reserved. Short Positive Affirmations set the pace for your day. I say what I want and i dont care what everyone else thinks about it. Roy Lichtenstein Those who snore always fall asleep first. The future is shaped by your dreams, so stop wasting time and go to sleep. They are a powerful tool you can use to change your attitude, your perspective on life and shift from a negative to a positive mindset. - Jack London. 228. My farts aren't nearly as bad as my dogs'. I only check my voicemail to get rid of the annoying little icon. Read next: 45 Self-Compassion Affirmations to Practice when Feeling Low. 41. I now pronounce you man and wife, you may now change your Facebook status. 123. One of the most important aspects of affirmations is how authentic they feel to you. Sam Levenson. Read the first word again. I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot. Im not arguing, Im just telling you why youre wrong. With a cowculator. You were too lazy to read that number. 7. I am strong and getting stronger every day. 248. 209. 178. No matter how bad it gets Im always rich when I go to the dollar store. 59. 6. You deserve it! I wish my wallet came with free refills. It has nothing new to tell you. What doesnt kill you makes your drinks stronger., 10. Every one of my colleagues brings happiness into the office. Im not arguing, Im just telling you why youre wrong. I know that I am stupid but when I look around me I feel a lot better. I'm amusing and people enjoy talking to me. East I did not trip and fall. If I want a squirrel to like me, I guess I gotta act like a nut., 6. Socrates. I can do this. "Sometimes the best part of my job is that the chair swivels.". 20. Explore the latest videos from hashtags: #affirmations, #affirmation, #funnyaffirmation, #dailyaffirmations, #affirmationsoftheday, # . 7. 127. I said no to drugs, but they just wouldnt listen. Send me the link. Happiness is a choice. I can believe in myself for 5 minutes., 2. Making everyone angry, piece of cake. Your email address will not be published. George Burns, 253. Emphasis on the cool. Why was six scared of seven? Nobody gets out alive anyway. Effective pushing often involves poop. It has the power to add levity to our daily challenges. I cant make everyone happy, Im not tequila. Even on my worst day, Ive still got 24 hours. 202. Batwoman: single. Chris Rock, 256. 243. Bowling Alley: Please be quiet. Allow yourself to laugh if you feel the need. Its called tomorrow. Dont make me laugh, Im trying to be mad at you. How do astronomers organize a party? 26. 20. I really should do something with my life, maybe tomorrow. 12. 245. Because so many kings and queens have been reigning there. I have no time to worry; I have to be awesome. 100 Funny Christmas Quotes. There are no stupid questions, just stupid people. 3. Its okay if people dont like me. 176. My chins are a stairway to heaven. "After 30, a body has a mind of its own.". 205. I enjoy every minute of it. Ive got three bones. Dear universe, I am totally open to all the amazing things coming my way. 208. Its okay if people dont like me. "It's only WednesdayHang in there!". 93. Yesterday I did nothing and today Im finishing what I did yesterday. Chop your own wood. Good morning! Whatever you must do todaydo it with the confidence of a 4-year-old in a Batman cape., 2. Edward A. Murphy Yes, officer, I saw the speed limit, I just didnt see your car. Car Dealership: The best way to get back on your feet, miss a car payment. My friends are like rocks, they help me through hard times. Forget the butterflies, I feel the entire zoo in my stomach when Im with you. 132. 152. Hmmm, this text message is a little too harsh, Ill add LOL at the end. I have a new hairstyle today, its called I tried. I rescued some beer that was trapped in a bottle. A committee is a group that keeps the minutes and loses hours. My to-do list doesnt include dealing with negative people. The older I get, the more I start ignoring my friends. Life doesnt have any hands, but it can sure give you a slap sometimes. Actually, you dont have to imagine. 81. Nothing, they just waved. Short Funny Affirmations. Excuse me while I go on a ride on the porcelain steamer. With great power comes an even greater electricity bill. I believe we should all pay our tax bill with a smile. 190. Every weekend I do what I love most, absolutely nothing. 178. If at first, you dont succeed, so much for skydiving. I love living in my unique female body. What is the tallest building in the entire world? I teach my kids good things in sarcastic ways. With great power comes an even greater electricity bill. When the past comes knocking, dont answer. - Marcus Tullius Cicero. 177. Pat Sajak Without further ado, let's look at 20 funny affirmations to build your self-esteem. "My funny vibes attract my happy tribe.". Always remember youre unique, just like everyone else. Find a quiet place without distractions. May your yoga pants be stretchy, your coffee be strong and your Wednesday be short., See also: 120 Inspiring Wednesday Morning Blessings To Motivate You. It can get you out of a tight corner and people who lack a sense of humor cannot do. My mistakes dont define me. Im not lazy, Im on power saving mode. I would have appreciated exams if they had allowed our Pokemons and Ninjas. ~ Bill Gates. Why cant you play cards on a small boat? Not everyone has good taste. Then perhaps youd find value in these articles on. Affirmations can be written in a journal, spoken out loud, or visualized as a conversation between you and money. marcus luttrell ranch, waterloo iowa mugshots 2021, ohio state football recruiting rumors,
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